TIME IS RUNNING OUT

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Ya Allah...
jika aku jatuh cinta,
cintakanlah aku pada seseorang yang melabuhkan cintanya padaMu,
agar bertambah kekuatanku untuk menyintaiMu…

Ya Muhaimin...
jika aku jatuh hati,
izinkanlah aku menyentuh hati seseorang yang hatinya tertaut padaMu,
agar tidak terjatuh aku dalam jurang cinta nafsu...

Ya Rabbana...
jika aku jatuh hati,
jagalah hatiku padanya agar tidak berpaling daripada hatiMu.....

Ya Rabbul Izzati...
jika aku rindu,
rindukanlah aku pada seseorang yang merindui syahid di jalan Mu....

Ya Allah...
jika aku menikmati cinta kekasihMu,
janganlah kenikmatan itu melebihi kenikmatan indahnya bermunajat di sepertiga malam terakhirMu...

Ya Allah...
jika aku jatuh hati pada kekasihMu,
jangan biarkan aku tertatih dan terjatuh dalam perjalanan panjang menyeru manusia kepadaMu...

Ya Allah...
jika Kau halalkan aku merindui kekasihMu,
jangan biarkan aku melampaui batas sehingga melupakan aku pada cinta hakiki dan rindu abadi hanya kepadaMu...

Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin...

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Quick one. Was discharged from the hospital yesterday. The op went well. Alhamdulillah. Thank you, all, from the bottom of my heart, for your well wishes, prayers, love & encouragement (:

Thursday, May 12, 2011

I can be a fighter when I need to be, but more often than not, I am a lover of all kinds...of books and the arts, & the pretty pictures both paint, of the glow that people have when they smile, of the pain your stomach gets after laughing way too much over something so simple, of both sunny and rainy days when they match your exact mood so perfectly, of love and romance and the smallest of gestures that mean more than you can understand and the way some of us fit inside so easily each other. And maybe that isn`t much, it`s enough to survive on. For me, it`s enough to survive for.

Monday, May 2, 2011

How is it possible to still be hurting? It's close to a darn year. But then again, it was just as hard after the first one in 2007. Even harder this time, but you cannot say I'm not trying, because I am. I've learnt not to rely so much on emotions over time. Don't get me wrong. I've not evolved into some heartless beast. It's just a mere coping mechanism. Is it any wonder I see him in me? Impacts, maybe. I find myself saying, '... put others before self. And if you really loved me, you would have exercised more tact...' to my almost there but not partner.

Change came. A little late, I must say. But it has been made. This much I know is true.

I don't believe in being with someone else when my entire heart still belongs to the one who has always been there. There is only room for one. But as I've seen and said before - the person you fall the hardest for and the person you marry may not necessarily be the same person.

Tawakkaltu alaallah.

p.s I decided get off FB coz sometimes, I just need to try to forget and not click the page I'm not supposed to.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Over time, over the years, growing up... My feelings for certain individuals have wavered. Change is the only constant, they say. Inconsistent is the human heart, I say. But it is only when I place ultimate love in Him, does my weak heart come to ease & peace. Alhamdulillah. Hasbi rabbi jalallah ma fi qalbi ghayrullah.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

If you have forgotten how I look like...

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Not even enough for a conversation about it. I think that’s the thing that actually hurts. Silence screams louder than difficult truth. We can put all kinds of terms to the reasons our emotions do what they do, but they aren`t excuses. Real hearts really get hurt. I`m trying to figure out how to posture my heart in this. I don`t know what the right way is. But maybe sometimes, you don`t get closure. You just learn to let go with a different brand of truth that sets you free.